Jan
3
Goat Attempts Suicide
Two senseless goats were rescued from a Montana railroad bridge! Stan, the brown one, came to Phil’s aid, the white blotched one, once he heard the local livestock talking about Phil’s serious depression. Stan later found Phil on the railway edge, nervous and upset. Phil desperately cried out that he was tired of waking up to cold hands pulling on his underside, coming home to be sheared and left naked, and being the constant talk at his owner’s dinner table.
Two days later the owner luckily saw his two goats standing on the bridges ledge 200 feet in the air. A rescue crew soon came to the weak and shaking goats. Phil bleated loudly at rescue crew, claiming to jump if they came any closer. Phil’s owner urged the crew to move ahead quickly appearing unconcerned at the goat’s claim. After much scrambling and shuffling, Phil was thwarted in his death attempt and hog tied back to safety. Oscar Meyer will be providing professional counseling for Phil until he is deemed “fit for use.”